


I'm Not the Only One //Lashton//

by fivesaucevevo



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5 Seconds of Summer - Freeform, Angst, BoyxBoy, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, Teen Angst, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-04 20:43:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3088580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fivesaucevevo/pseuds/fivesaucevevo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Living with his best friend of 10 years, Alyssa, begins to take a toll on Luke. After one fight too many, Luke finds himself at a coffee shop, agreeing to a night out with the charming barista, Ashton. Luke quickly finds himself falling head over heels for the charismatic boy, praying their relationship can hold strong through the storm on their horizon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You and Me, We Made a Vow

Luke’s POV

 

“WHAT THE FUCK!” I flinched as a vase hit the wall next to my head and shattered into tiny shards of glass. My best friend Alyssa, who was standing in the middle of our apartment, had thrown the object at me. Her face was the color of a tomato, her normally twinkling blue, now gray, eyes brimming with tears about to spill and her strawberry blonde hair sticking up at odd angles. I ducked out of the way as a picture frame came flying at me, crashing into the wall where my head had been just seconds before. Looking down at the smashed wood, I could see it was the picture of us taken at our graduation party.

“Lyss, please, calm down!” I yelled as she picked up the TV remote, her intentions clear.

She glanced down at the remote for a moment, seemingly considering her options before she wound up again. I tried dodging the projectile but didn’t move fast enough to escape its blow. Seeing this as an opportunity to stop the constant barrage of household items at my face, I sank to the ground, slightly overdramatically.

Alyssa’s hands immediately went to cover her mouth as she rushed towards me, falling to her knees and apologizing over and over. She pushed my shirtsleeve up and checked the quickly growing bruise. Upon seeing how bad it was she let out a small gasp and ran towards the freezer to get an ice pack and by this point, I was slowly getting up.

“I’m fine,” I grumbled, walking towards the couch and plopping myself down, “Put the ice back.”

“Oh, well,” she said, her voice as crisp and cool as the wintery weather outside, “In that case-“ She bent down, picking up a pillow and hurling it at my face. I reached up and caught it effortlessly, hugging it to my chest.

“Look, Lyss,” I said, crossing my legs and turning my body to face more towards her, “I’m sorry I forgot to do the dishes.”

She huffed and crossed her arms, shifting her weight from one leg to the other. “That’s not what I’m mad about.” She muttered, clearly annoyed.

“I’m sorry for coming home drunk the other night?” I tried again, not understanding what she had been raging about and beginning to panic a little.

“Nope,” the word hitting me like a sharp blow as the air left my lungs. “Try again.” she spat, her crystalline eyes becoming angry slits.

I hated upsetting her but sometimes it was impossible to avoid her rage, throwing tantrums about the smallest things like me leaving the toilet seat up or forgetting to put my shoes away.

I gulped as I racked my brain for everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours. She hadn’t seemed upset until around lunch time… _lunchtime._

“Oh shit, Lyss, I’m so sorry I completely forgot to meet you for lunch,” I stammered, “My class ran late and by then I had forgotten and Mikey had asked if I wanted to grab a burger and I was starving so I said yes… please forgive me.”

“This is the like the tenth time this month, Luke” she said, her expression instantly softening, revealing the hurt look in her eyes. That look made my heart ache and the corners of my mouth drop. “I’m tired of you forgetting everything we have planned just to hang out with Michael or Calum. Do you even care about me?”

I was slightly taken aback by her last question. “Of course I do,” I insisted, standing up and reaching out to touch her arm, but she pulled away. I did the only thing I could think of, something I hadn’t done in a long time. Though Alyssa gets mad at me a lot, she never stays mad, and I haven’t seen her look this upset before. “It won’t happen again,” I said quietly, locking eyes with her and extending my littlest finger, “I promise.”

Her irritation was clear in her eyes as she eyed my hand. Her lower lip quivered as she turned and ran towards her room, slamming the door and shaking the thin walls of the small apartment.

I sunk back into the couch, confused and hurt because this small gesture was what our friendship of ten years was built on.


	2. For Better or For Worse

Flashback- 10 years ago

“Alright class, lets settle down now,” the teacher spoke as the group of twenty grubby third graders all scrambled to find their seats. “We have a new student in class,” she said smiling as she glanced down at the timid child next to her. “Everybody, say hello to Alyssa.”

“Hi Alyssa!” the boys and girls chorused.

After a weak hi from the small girl, the teacher directed her towards a seat next to Angela MacDonald, following the alphabetical order the children were placed in. Maas, MacDonald, and then Mackay. Angela glanced at her, scrunching her nose up and then turning away.

Across the room, Luke was laughing with his friends making paper airplanes; ready to race them to see whose would travel the farthest.

Mrs. Greenfield’s classroom was set up in four rows of three desks with an aisle in between each. Luke and his friends sat in the second row on the left side of the room while Alyssa had been put in the back on the opposite side.

When Mrs. Greenfield had turned her back to begin writing on the board, the boys quietly jumped of their seats and each rushed to the end of a row.

“One...” Luke started preparing his plane, “two...three!” He released the plane at the same time as the two other boys, watching as it flew over the other kids heads. He then watched as it fell, crashing into long, strawberry blonde hair. 

Everyone’s attention was once again on the new girl, as the class laughed and pointed. Mrs. Greenfield turned around, wondering what all the commotion was about. Her jaw dropped slightly, taking in the situation, her eyes scanning from the crumbled paper airplane resting by the feet of tearful Alyssa to the scarlet blush creeping up Luke’s neck.

“Luke! Calum! Michael!” she yelled “What were you thinking?! You know better then that... no recess for you boys!” 

The three troublemakers hung their heads in shame and returned to their seats as Mrs. Greenfield checked to make sure Alyssa was okay. The little girl nodded her head and sniffled, wiping her nose and squeezing her eyes shut, refusing to let the tears fall.

During recess, Luke was sitting on the curb next to the teachers, picking at grass. Twenty feet away sat Calum, lying on his back watching the clouds. In the other direction, about the same distance away, sat Michael, looking antsy and occasionally throwing pebbles. Luke sat helplessly, watching his class, led by Angela, as they surrounded Alyssa. The tiny girl’s lower lip was quivering, complimenting the panicked look in her eye. 

After watching the children taunt her for over ten minutes, Luke couldn’t take it anymore. With one last glance towards the teachers, who were completely unaware of the scene before them, Luke jumped up and ran towards the growing group of kids. 

Ignoring the protests of the now interested teachers, Luke pushed through the crowd to where Angela was slowly forcing Alyssa against the brick wall of the school. 

Taking the bully by surprise, Luke stepped protectively in front of Alyssa saying, “If you want to get to her you’ll have to go through me first!”

Angela turned on her heel, sticking her nose in the air and walking away with a slight huff. Luke smiled, crossing his arms in satisfaction and turning to the girl cowering behind him. 

“Are you alright?” he asked hesitantly.  
“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” Alyssa squeaked out. “T-thanks” she stuttered, smiling sheepishly.  
“I-I’m sorry about before. I didn’t mean to hit you.” Luke said, offering a slight smile.   
“It’s alright,” She said, smiling back, “You didn’t mean it.”  
Luke grinned now, glancing down at the Ninja Turtles shirt Alyssa was wearing.  
“Cool shirt!” he exclaimed  
“Thanks! It’s my favorite show,” she said, a grin beginning to form on her face, but dropping as quickly as it had started.

Concern flashed across Luke’s face, “Wha-“ he began to say, but stopped as he saw Angela marching back to them, a light smirk plastered across her face.   
“So Luke, you realize that by being friends with her,” she directed her glare at Alyssa, “You’re a loser too. No one is going to talk to you anymore.”  
Luke stared at her blankly, observing the look of victory that crossed her face as he stepped towards her, bringing himself nose to nose with her. 

“Okay.” He said, clearly uninterested, shrugging his shoulders as the look of victory dissolved into red cheeks and clenched fists.  
“NO!” Angela yelled, stomping her foot, “That’s not how its supposed to go! You’re supposed to be friends with me!” She reached her hand out and grabbed Luke’s green sweatshirt, pulling him along behind her.

“No!” a small voice cried from behind Luke, causing Angela to freeze in her tracks and Luke to smile slightly. “Let him do what he wants! You don’t own him!” Alyssa continued.  
“Fine.” Angela muttered, dropping Luke’s arm, “I don’t need you anyways.” She said, trying to sound casual as she skipped away.

“You saved me,” Luke smiled gratefully. “Thank you.”  
“I’ve never talked to anyone like that before,” Alyssa giggled, “It felt good.”  
“Good!” Luke said, giggling a little bit too.

Alyssa looked at her feet as she spoke, “Thanks for risking getting in trouble to help me. You’re really nice.”  
“It’s no problem,” Luke said smiling, “I wanted to help, plus you helped me so we’re even.”

“But what am I going to do the next time she says something mean to me? I won’t always have you around.” Alyssa responded, frowning.  
“Yes you will,” Luke said, sticking his pinky finger out to his new friend, “I promise.”  
Alyssa grinned as she wrapped her little finger with his. “Me too. Always?” she questioned.  
“Always.” Luke said, squeezing her finger in his as the whistle blew, and the pair of friends ran towards their class, still grinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey ok sorry this is off to a slow start i promise it will pick up in the next couple of chapters -Kat:) xx


	3. I Can't Believe You Let Me Down

Luke’s POV

I clicked the lock button on my phone for the hundredth time since Alyssa locked herself in her room, the glowing white numbers showing me that it was quarter past eight. I had been waiting for Alyssa to come out for almost two hours now and she didn’t seem any closer to wanting to reconcile anything that was said earlier.

“Fuck it.” I mumbled to myself, getting my ass off the couch and grabbing my coat as I quickly walked to the front door of our tiny apartment. I left, slamming the door for effect and letting the cool London air hit my face. As it did, I smiled slightly and let out a small sigh. 

Alyssa and I decided to move to London from Sydney partially for a change of scenery but mostly because our dream universities are located in the “square mile”, as some people call it. Alyssa attends the University of the Arts and I attend Imperial College. I’m studying medicine while she, on the other hand, is learning interior design. Really, it’s just my dream university, not Alyssa’s. She told me she would go anywhere I went because she’s already great with design. She just needs the essentials and she can get that anywhere.

I strolled down the sidewalk, taking in the bustle of the London streets. The bright coats, various assortments of hats and the occasional ‘thank you’ over the general chatter of the Londoners, overwhelming me and making me feel at home. 

Finally spotting my destination ahead of me, I made my way to the crosswalk and seeing the wait was too long, decided to just jog across the street. It had begun to flurry and though it was pretty, it wasn’t something I wanted to be standing in for long. I brushed my way past a few people and held the door for an elderly couple entering the same café as me. I guess that’s my good deed for the day. 

Following them in, I shrugged my coat off, hanging it on the hook just inside the door. I brushed a few snowflakes off my grey beanie, feeling them melt as they came in contact with my skin. Making my way to the counter, I glanced at the menu that was hanging on wall, mulling over my options. Suddenly a voice interrupted my thoughts.

“Hey, welcome to Urban Grind! What can I getcha?”

I looked down at the person who had spoken. A mop of honey blonde hair fell over his face, and – oh, his face! Tan skin, green eyes that sparkled with life, and a smile that lit up his whole face. He was about my height, maybe a few inches shorter. Barista boy was wearing a green jacket with a black t-shirt underneath and black skinny jeans.

When my blue eyes met his bright ones my heart stopped briefly and I paused in confusion because… what? I just met this guy! (Emphasis on the word guy. I was as straight as they came. No pun intended.) I shook it off and gave him a slight smile, reaching for my wallet in my back pocket.

“Hi, yeah um…I’ll just have a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream please.”

“No problem,” he chirped, turning around to grab one of the mugs that were hanging from the hooks under the menu. “Will that be it?” he asked, grinning, revealing two dimples the size of craters.

“For now,” I said offering him a smile with no teeth, revealing a dimple of my own.  
“Planning on staying long?” he asked, his brow creasing with the question.

“I guess,” I replied with a shrug, “My roommate is really pissed at me so I’m going to give her some space. I just don’t know how long that will take.” I sighed.

“Well,” he answered, sliding me my hot chocolate and smirking a bit, “My shift ends in about twenty minutes if you’re up for a bit of fun.” He said, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

“I don’t even know your name, barista boy.” I chuckled, shaking my head.

“Fair enough,” he giggled, “I’m Ashton.” He stated, smiling widely and stared, waiting for me to return the gesture.

“Oh…uh… I’m Luke.” I stammered.

“Well Luke, are you up for a bit of fun? You look like you need it and frankly, so do I. Todays been a long day and I’ve decided I hate people who think they can order fancy drinks that aren’t on the menu.”

I just blinked at him.

“Hello? Luke, you still there?” he laughed.

“Okay... I’m in.” I say slowly, my smiling growing to match his. I mean what’s the harm? He seems like a decent guy and going out with him seems better then sitting alone all night in various locations throughout London depending on when they close. I don’t really have any friends here except Calum and Michael, but they decided to go to a concert this weekend and I have a huge test on Monday so I turned them down when they offered me an extra ticket. 

“Cool,” Ashton said, “Now that’ll be 2.50.” he smirked, extending his hand for the money. He had extremely large hands.

I smiled sheepishly, forgetting I had to pay him, and digging through my wallet for the bills. Finally fishing them out, I handed them over and sat down at a sticky table for two with my drink, the whipped cream already melting on the scalding chocolate. I impatiently watched the clock as it slowly began to count out the twenty minutes until Ashton was off work. I was practically vibrating in my seat with excitement and nervous energy. It had been a while since I went out and did something fun. My weeks had been full of easily forgotten nights, but this was sure to be one I would remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayye lashton has met things are getting started -Kat:) xx


	4. But the Truth's in the Way it Hurts

Ashton’s POV

“Here’s your change,” I said, flashing the short brunette in front of me a grin “Have a great night.” I finished, winking. She giggled as color rose to her cheeks, before composing herself and getting out a ‘you too’ in a lame attempt at a seductive voice. I shook my head, giggling as she walked away.

Girls made me laugh. They loved flirting with me and I always flirted back, not because I was attracted to them, just because it was amusing as fuck. I mean, I have a lovely boyfriend at home, thank you very much.

I began putting the money the girl had just given me in the correct slots then dropping the coins into their designated compartments, enjoying the clinking sounds they made as they hit the other coins in the drawer. I finished my task and closed the drawer, slightly too hard. My fingers found their way to the counter and I began tapping out a random beat. Glancing up, I scanned the room, taking in the lively chatter between friends and the comfortable silence of strangers. My eyes landed on a young couple, clearly on a first date, and I giggled at the awkwardness that was practically radiating off both of them. As they got up to leave, I practically cooed as the boy nervously tangled his fingers with the girls and she blushed, leaning into him slightly. I wanted to clap for them they were so cute. I’m such a sucker for love.

A bell ringing pulled my attention away from them, drawing my hazel eyes towards the door and most likely my next customer. An elderly couple approached a table occupied by a guy of about twenty, who smiled and eagerly jumped up, pulling them both into a hug. The women looked as if she could cry and the man was beaming brightly. Watching the scene, I began to form a backstory for this family, the young guy had been off to war and came back or maybe he’d been at uni and hadn’t come home or maybe he’d been estranged from them and they were now reconciling… 

My thoughts trailed off as a large figure strode in the tiny café. The guy reached up, brushing small white flakes off of the grey beanie that was perched on top of shining blonde hair. The mystery boy ran his fingers through his perfectly styled quiff, before shrugging off his black leather jacket, revealing a red flannel buttoned up all the way. You would thing this would make him look like a farmer but on him it looked straight up hot. He began making his way to the counter, hands in the pockets of his black skinnies, and all black Converse leaving wet, smudgy footprints in his wake from the snow outside.

Basically, he was gorgeous. 

I was almost at a loss for words.

Almost.

But as he approached the counter my instincts kicked in and I closed my mouth that had been slightly agape this whole time, replacing the slightly awed look with a grin. 

“Hey, welcome to Urban Grind! What can I getcha?” I chirped, my Australian accent showing slightly more then usual as I glanced up at him. Yes, up. I was just over six feet tall and this boy definitely had a couple inches on me, and more than a few with the quiff.

I took his order of a hot chocolate, asking the customary, ‘Will that be it?’ and flashing him a smile as I got to work on the drink. I didn’t miss the slightly sharp breath he’d taken when we made eye contact. He had the most crystal clear blue eyes; you could tell they were almost always bright and full of life. Almost.

Something seemed to be bothering this stranger and I, being the kind hearted, loving person that I am, wanted to help. I was in no way interested in him. Nope, definitely not. I mean I have an amazing boyfriend, why would I like this tall- 

Getting lost in my thoughts, I almost missed his answer.

“For now,” he said, giving me a shy smile much like the girl before did, except his gave me butterflies and the dimple he had made my knees wobble slightly.

I took this as an opportunity to continue the conversation and maybe see what this guy was upset about.

“Planning on staying long?” I asked, trying to keep the hopefulness out of my voice. He seems like a cool guy it would be fun to get to know him. Just that. Nothing more.

“I guess,” he replied with a shrug. He went on to explain how his roommate was pissed at him so he was backing off for a bit. He just didn’t know how long. Then I got one of my ever-famous brilliant ideas.

I was planning on just going home to my boyfriend tonight but I could cancel to help this poor guy. He really did look distressed. It looked like he could use some fun and, honestly, so could I. Conveniently enough, my friend Louis owned a nightclub up the street from here, and it seemed like just what this stranger needed. 

So I asked if he was up for a bit of fun.

“I don’t even know your name, barista boy.” He said with an adorable little chuckle and along with the pet name, I tried to keep the fond giggle down but it escaped anyways.

“Fair enough,” I said, still giggling. “I’m Ashton.” I beamed. I waited for him to introduce himself, watching as he blinked a bit, looking slightly confused but very adorable.

Finally he managed to get out that his name was Luke. Luke. He looked like a Luke. Now that we had been properly introduced, I asked him again if he was up for some fun and received a blank stare in return.

“Hello? Luke, you still there?” 

I laughed, but deep down I was nervous he was going to turn me down. Now that I had brought up going out, I didn’t really feel like having a cozy night in.

After what seemed like an eternity and a half, he finally smiled at me, accepting my offer. Inside I was doing a happy dance as relief flooded through my body, quickly followed by excitement. On the outside I remained calm and told him how much his drink cost, extending my hand for payment. He looked frazzled, like he had forgotten he had to pay, and I had to keep from laughing as he frantically searched for money in his wallet. 

He finally found the bills and handed them over, grabbing his mug and searching for a table. I watched his broad shoulders as he walked over to a small round table with two chairs. His eyes were immediately on the clock, occasionally sipping from the steaming mug in front of him.

I smirked to myself at his slight desperation to go out. Honestly though, I shouldn’t be talking because I was just as excited as the tree boy, if not more so.

Time ticked by painfully slow. It was like I was back at school or something, when time feels like it stands still. Finally, finally, Darcy came in, signaling my freedom. I ran to the back, catching Luke’s attention, a puzzled look forming on his previously calm face. I threw my apron in the general direction of the hook on the wall and dashed back out to the counter, ignoring the shouts of my boss, telling me to hang it up. I hopped over the counter and stood next to Luke, who was holding his coat and watching me, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“Nice parkour, barista boy.” He smirked making my heart leap as we headed towards the door.

“Thanks,” I said with a giggle, “I’m a man of many talents.” We walked outside, the cold air a drastic change from the stale, coffee scented air that had surrounded me for the past six hours.

“Man,” Luke quoted, “Guess I’ll have to call you barista man then yeah?”

“Barista man,” I mocked, before erupting into giggles once again, “Sounds like a super hero name.”

He laughed, the sound making my heart flutter it was so beautiful. I had to remind myself how to breathe. We kept walking and I couldn’t help but notice the way our arms kept bumping into each other and I had to stop myself from intertwining our fingers.

“You are a super hero,” Luke said, still laughing, “Barista Man, with coffee and parkour powers.” He said this in the stereotypical announcer voice, complete with the American accent and superhero pose, hands on hips, chest out. 

I stopped too, trying to keep myself from doubling over with laughter as I mimicked his actions and voice, “Nothing stops him! Watch as he side flips over buildings and attacks evildoers with his coffee spraying abilities!”

Luke had to stop walking he was laughing so hard. I could barely see, my eyes tearing with laughter and I bumped into him, knocking us both over and making us laugh even harder than we were before. 

“Hey this would be a cool music video!” Luke said out of nowhere when we had finally recovered.

I gave him a look that was somewhere between complete confusion and amusement. We had arrived at the club though so it would have to wait.

“More on that in a minute,” I said holding up my finger to him as he looked like he was about to explain himself. “We’re here!” I said with a grin, “Oh and there’s Louis! Hey Lou!” I yelled, getting his attention, excitement building as I dragged Luke over to meet my friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment what you think so far if you want:)


	5. For Months On End I've Had My Doubts

Luke’s POV

Loud music blared from the small building, twenty something year olds lining the sidewalk. I felt a tug on my hand as Ashton yelled about a loo or something and started dragging me towards the mob of people. I was in a slight daze due to how much I had laughed in the ten minutes it took to get to the club and it was obvious. Soon it became clear he was dragging me to a person not a bathroom.

“Louis!” Ashton yelled, pulling a slight guy with swoopy brown hair, bright eyes, and a face of stubble in for a hug. The guy, apparently Louis, smiled warmly, revealing two rows of perfect white teeth, as he hugged Ashton back. 

“Oh, Lou!” Ashton said, “This is my friend Luke! Luke, this is Louis.” 

“Nice to meet you man,” I said, extending my hand and offering the boy a shy smile.

“You too, mate,” he said, his English accent thick, as he took my hand, giving me a grin. He had this vibe about him that he was confident and important and he knew it, but he wasn’t cocky about it. “This way,” he said, as we walked towards what seemed to be the door. It was hard to tell because of all the people. Eventually, after a lot of pushing and “excuse me’s”, we made it through what was in fact the door.

I saw Louis mouth moving, but couldn’t hear anything he was saying over the Beyoncé song that was literally making the whole building tremble. 

“I’m sorry mate what was that?” I yelled, leaning towards the guy, putting a hand to the ear closest to him and plugging the other one in a desperate attempt to block out the music for just a moment.

“What?” he mouthed, then a look of realization crossed his face, “Oh! I said welcome to Club Juno!” he said, smiling proudly and gesturing towards the room.   
Booths lined two walls, overflowing with people, their chatter mixing in with the music. Towards the back wall was the DJ booth, manned by a guy wearing a black t-shirt and headphones around his neck who was clicking and sliding things on the panel in front of him, smiling at the positive reaction he received from the packed dance floor. The dance floor is what took up most of the space, with so many people on it; I wondered how they were moving. A grand staircase led to a loft area, with significantly less people, marked off by a velvet rope. On the wall to my left, there was a bar, crowded with girls in low cut tops and skirts so tight I could see their underwear, or lack of in most cases. Behind them, guys tried getting drinks but failed to get the attention of the mostly male bartenders.

I smiled to myself. I loved going out, having drinks with my friends, dancing with whomever I wanted, just letting loose. I especially loved the temporary feeling about it. Anything bad that happened was left to that night, and anything good I could recreate another night. I controlled everything.

That is until Alyssa decided that clubbing was annoying because she didn’t like the feeling of being hung-over. I told her to just not drink but she said that wouldn’t be any fun. After a while I gave up arguing with her and tried to just go out with Calum and Michael but she would scream and cry until I said I wasn’t going. One time I went without her and I came home to find her passed out on the couch. 

I’ll never forget how she looked, her limp body hanging off the couch. Tissues surrounded her, stuck in her hair and to her clothes, falling in fluffy piles on the floor. The pillow near her head was soaked, the evidence showing in two bright red tear tracks under her puffy eyes. Finally, two bottles of red wine lay on the floor, a few remaining drops falling, staining the pristine carpet beneath them. The scene before me was one of the most terrifying I had ever seen. I freaked out because Alyssa is about five feet tall, a hundred pounds soaking wet and her alcohol tolerance was extremely low. I thought she was dead. I rushed her to the hospital and she had to get her stomach pumped and stay there for a few days. Since then, I haven’t left her alone for more then a few hours and never at night.

I immediately started to panic as the memory flashed through my mind, my smiling disappearing from my face as I frantically looked at Ashton, gripping his hand tighter. Wait, why was I holding his hand? The thought disappeared as quickly as it came as my panicked eyes made contact with his concerned hazel ones. Not here. I begged my body.

“I-I have to go,” I stuttered pulling away from him.

“Why what’s wrong?” he asked, alarm lacing his voice but hurt filling his eyes.

“I just- I just remembered something that- I- I- mean- I have to- go-o,” I managed, my lungs felt like they couldn’t fill up properly. I needed air. Now.

I ran towards a door, hardly registering Ashton yelling behind me. I shoved it open, stumbling onto the ground and landing on my hands and knees. I focused all my energy on bringing air towards me, trying to let it fill my lungs. Spots clouded my vision as my chest continued to heave, showing no signs of stopping. The world spun as I fell to my stomach, the music still pumping through the wall outside, synching up with my heartbeat. Colors swirled above me as I slipped into the black oblivion.

-x-

I woke up a few moments later, completely dazed. I pushed myself up with one arm and my hand immediately went to my head, which was pounding. Upon putting my fingers to the source of the pain, I discovered blood oozing from a cut. Well, isn’t that just perfect. I thought to myself, taking slow breaths as I got to my feet, shaking a bit. As I stood, I lost my balance and fell towards the wall, catching myself and leaning a shoulder against the cool brick. I watched my steady breaths turn to clouds in the cold air, the rhythm calming me. 

Suddenly, the huge gray door beside me burst open and a pale, frantic guy flew into the ally. He looked around before spotting me. 

“Luke!” he exclaimed, relief flooding his face, “I’msosorryiwaschasingyouandthengotstuckinthecrowdandwaspushingandshovingbutpeoplewouldntfuckingmoveandfinallytheyallgotoutofthwayand-“  
“Ashton its ok,” I said, chuckling slightly and giving him a weak smile. “I’m fine.”  
“What happened?” he asked, slightly out of breath from his explanation and running he had clearly done.  
“I just got a little claustrophobic,” I lied, “I just needed some air and to take some medication to clam me down.”  
“Oh, ok!” he said, coming back to his cheery self, “Are you alright now?” he asked as he furrowed his eyebrows.  
“Yeah all good!” I said smiling “Lets hit the bar!” I said smiling and pushing through the door back into the crowded club. Drinking will stop the pain.

We both cheered as we entered the club again, pushing our way to the bar to get drinks. I leaned on the counter, Ashton leaning almost on top of me due to the lack of space. I caught the attention of a girl with long pink hair and bright eyes.   
“Hey sweetie,” she said, giving me a flirty smile, “What can I get you?”  
“Two beers please,” I answered, playing a bit with the black ring in my lip, and giving her a small smirk.  
She smirked back and disappeared; reappearing with two brown bottles, cool condensation running down the sides of each.   
“Here ya go,” she said, handing me the drinks, “On the house,” she said with a wink.  
“Thanks- uh- sorry I didn’t catch your name?”  
“Ashley” she replied, “And my shift gets off in about an hour, if you wanna-“ she trailed off, looking up at me through her eyelashes and biting her lip slightly. Subtle.  
“Well Ashley, I’ll keep that in mind,” I said, flirting back. I felt a tug on my shirt as Ashton pulled me back. He looked a little upset and I wasn’t really sure why. No matter, I was grateful. Ashley was pretty but not really my type.

“Come on mate!” Ashton called, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the dance floor. I took a huge swig of my drink and let him drag me onto the floor. As we were making our way through the crowd, I caught Louis’ eye. He was giving me a slightly dirty look. That’s weird. Before I could stop and give him a questioning look, a tall guy with long hair and an unbuttoned shirt that revealed a chest full of tattoos bounced towards him and all of Louis attention immediately was consumed by the boy in front of him. I watched his face light up as the boy took his hand and playfully spun him around, causing them both to laugh. Cute.

I smiled and turned my attention towards Ashton who was desperately trying to twerk. I almost spit out my mouthful of beer. I choked down the alcohol and laughed, clapping my hands as everyone around us turned around, cheering at his lame attempt to dance. 

After about five more drinks, Ashton was grinding on me, both of us laughing so hard we couldn’t breath. I doubled over, wrapping my arms around him to steady myself, desperately trying to catch my breath. He jumped up, turning to face me, his smile slightly dimmer.

He coughed a bit and I just stared at him kind of confused. But then the smile returned to his face, his dimples showing and I relaxed. Damn he’s cute. No, wait… what?

I shook my head as we wove through the groups on the dance floor, desperately dodging drunken girls, stumbling in their heels. I didn’t feel like going to the emergency room tonight because some girl got too aggressive dancing to ‘Jealous’ by Nick Jonas. 

We reached our destination, the DJ booth, where we tipped the DJ so that we could control the booth for an hour. Ashton had an amazing music taste. The artists consisted of Green Day, Nirvana, Blink, The Ramones, All Time Low and so many more. Some how, he managed to mix the songs so that they were all danceable and the crowd loved it. 

When we finally stumbled out of the club it was almost four in the morning. I had lost count of how many drinks I had consumed around drink nine, or about midnight. I leaned on Ashton for support because he had stopped drinking way before I had. I was actually still holding a bottle of beer in the hand that wasn’t desperately holding onto Ashton’s shoulder.

“Hey Ash?” I slurred, my mind clouded with alcohol, “Can I stay at your place? I kinda have no where to go right now.” I finished sheepishly. I had stopped walking but for some reason the world was still moving. The fuck was up with that?

“Wait what?” Ashton asked. I guess I was drunker then I thought because he seemed to have no clue what I was saying. Not that he was all that sober but more so then I was.

“Oh, oh!” he exclaimed, realization washing over him, “Yeah sure! No problem!” But his face didn’t seem so sure. Oh well, I need somewhere to stay that’s not outside. 

“Thanks Ash!” I said, grinning and throwing my arms around his neck, “You’re the best!” I tightened my grip as he hugged back before pulling away.

“I like when you call me Ash,” he giggled, his cheeks tinged pink. It’s probably because of the cold. Yeah that’s it.  
“Better than barista boy?”  
“Hmm… that’s a tough one but I’m going to go with yes.” he said, pretending like it was a big decision. Or maybe it was. I couldn’t really tell due to my drunken state. Speaking of, the world suddenly spun faster and I got really confused as to why Ash was so tall now and why the ground was touching my face. 

The last thing I remember is Ashton’s worried face, right before blackness took over for the second time that night.


	6. Denying Every Tear

Ashton’s POV

Oh shit.

I stared down at the lump on the ground in front of me that had been a 6’4 boy seconds ago. The sidewalk, buildings, and people surrounding me all blurred together so it felt like I was standing in one of those unfocused hipster pictures. I crossed my eyes and squinted, trying to focus them so I could help Luke but the fucking wind was pushing me back and forth, further confusing me.

I shook my head and bent down, the whole world turning on its side, but I was determined to pick Luke up and get him safely to my apartment. Ya know, because he needed a safe place to stay and I love helping friends. Which is what Luke is. A friend. A really sexy, no, not sexy. A really good friend.

After about two minutes balancing in a weird squatting position, trying to pull Luke’s dead weight up, well, more like failing and then falling on top of him, he started to wake up. Following his screams of terror from being on the ground with a random guy on top of him, he calmed down enough for me to get him up and over to a bench where we could both recover.

A few moments of slightly awkward silence later I stammered out something like, “Sorry about that I wasn’t trying to uh…do anything…I mean I was but like… nothing like that… unless you think that is something…um different then…you know… that that then… I mean you might be right… well I guess technically that that is different from that… it having two words instead of one…”

Luke’s giggles caused me to trail off in the middle of my ramble. 

“Calm down Ash, I didn’t think you were doing anything. I just got surprised when I woke up with another human being lying on top of me. That doesn’t exactly happen to me everyday…I was kind of like ‘Whoa who’s this where did he come from what’s happening!’” Luke explained with a chuckle.

My stomach flipped at the nickname again. What the fuck was it doing did it think it was in the Olympics or something like damn calm down. 

I was pulled from the stern talking to I was giving my stomach by Luke impersonating himself.

“That was the lamest impersonation of yourself I’ve ever heard.” I remarked with a laugh.

“Really?” he said, fake pouting. “I thought it was decent. I’ve been practicing it and was pretty proud of myself. Now you’ve crushed my spirits.” He crossed his arms and looked away from me dramatically.

“I’m sorry babe.” I said giving him a fake sympathetic smile and patting his shoulder. ”But it truly was crap.”

“I’m afraid I can’t stay with a person who thinks so lowly of my impressions. This is goodbye Ashton.” He hopped of the bench and began to strut away, but didn’t get more then three feet before he tripped over his own feet and fell flat on his face.

“Life tip #12, never try and make a dramatic exit while drunk.” I managed to gasp out between fits of laughter. Luke on the other hand had curled up in the fetal position, burying his head in his legs in mock shame, still giggling at his own stupidity. “Come on,” I said, trying to catch my breath and reaching for his hand. “Let’s get you home before you severely injure yourself.”

We somehow managed to safely stumble the twelve blocks to my apartment. Well, erm, semi-safely. Luke tripped over a garbage can and almost stepped on a very small dog and I ran into a street lamp and fell off the sidewalk twice but we made it.

I fumbled for my keys in my pocket and almost screamed when I couldn’t find them. Shit. Hoping I had left them in my locker at work and that a guy hadn’t pick-pocketed me at some point when we were in the club, I buzzed up to my apartment. Niall would let us in.

This time I did scream.

Luke looked at me with concern, the arm that was draped around my shoulder, where he was leaning for support, tensed.

Suddenly a voice like cream floated towards me from the shiny metal box on the wall. A smooth, deep Irish accent met my ears.

“Ashton, babe is that you?” he laughed, “This must be the fourth time you’ve left you keys at work this week!”

“Haha yeah…” I laughed nervously. Nothing like turning up at the flat you shared with your boyfriend of two years, drunk, with another guy, to sober you up. I had fucking forgot about Niall. In my giddy, drunken state, I had invited Luke back to my place, not realizing how the situation must look like to my unsuspecting boyfriend.

“Hold on a sec, love.” he said and a moment later a loud buzzing followed by a clicking sound signaled the door had been unlocked. 

I tried to explain to Luke what was happening but he seemed to be past understanding the situation. He giggled uncontrollably up the first flight of stairs, stared blankly down at his feet on the second, and almost fell backwards down the third. Fortunately I managed to catch his wrist before he managed to fall down the whole flight of stairs.

“Smooth.” I muttered, praising myself on saving this idiots life. It was like he was five times more drunk than he was before. Or maybe I was more sober, given the situation. Either way I readjusted myself to carry Luke’s weight and knocked on the door marked 317.

Within a few moments, Niall appeared, smiling brightly. He was wearing a white t-shirt, grey sweatpants, and thick wool socks. His hair was styled up in a quiff, much like Luke’s. You could see the brown of his natural hair mixing with the dyed blonde and making its way into the top of his hair. His twinkling blue eyes met mine, warming me from the inside out. My stomach did the fluttery thing it always does when I see him and he just looked so cute and fluffy.

His smile that had, moments ago, lit up my world fell and I plunged into darkness. His eyebrows furrowed together and his tone was unusually icy as he glared at Luke, still giggling on my shoulder. 

“Who’s this?” he said shortly.

“Um, Ni this is Luke, Luke this is Niall.” I said hastily. 

“All right mate?” Luke slurred, smiling at Niall. Niall stared at him blankly for a second, then looked at me, eyebrow raised.

“Luke’s pretty drunk and he got in a fight with his roommate, and needs a place to stay so I, uh, said he could stay with us.” I explained as I dragged Luke into the living room and set him on the couch. “S’that ok?” I said, looking hopefully towards my boyfriend, who was still looking pretty pissed. 

“I mean I guess, since he’s already here,” he said, trailing off as he glanced down at the boy sprawled across our white couch. Luke’s eyelids were already fluttering, his head sinking into one of our throw pillows. I relaxed a little at his words. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not mad. You ditched me. Again. Then, you come home, drunk, with a hot stranger? And I’m not supposed to be offended?” He looked at me, waiting for an answer.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. He was right, of course, he’s always right. He’s the sweetest, most caring guy and I treated him like shit. 

“He’s probably straight.”

That’s what I said. Not ‘I’m sorry’ not ‘You deserve better’ not even ‘It won’t happen again’. No. I had to say literally the stupidest sentence in existence.

Niall’s face was one of total shock and anger. I have never seen anyone look so hurt in my life.

“Wow… um… ok I’m just gonna… go to Liam’s for… well… until you figure yourself out.” He said, as he grabbed his coat and slipped on some slippers. 

“Wait,” I yelled, running after him, but the door slammed in my face. I stood there for a moment before turning around and sliding down the door, wrapping my arms around my legs and burying my face in between them. I was to exhausted and surprised to cry. I just kind of sat there in disbelief, groaning every once in a while. 

After what seemed like years of silence, I heard a Luke weakly mumble from across the room, “Probably not straight,” he said. 

I almost laughed. I wanted to laugh. But instead I sobbed.

-x-

Oh god.

My stomach was churning and I knew its contents would soon be everywhere if I didn’t get to the bathroom soon. 

I pushed myself off the floor, hitting my head on something hard and glancing up, saw it was the handle to the front door. It had a bit of blood on it and there was a throbbing at the back of my head. Nice. I ran to the bathroom and leaned over the toilet. Not nice. After about twenty minutes of this, I felt well enough to stand up. One glance in the mirror told me I was an absolute mess. My eyes were puffy from crying and my cheeks were red and splotchy. My shirt was soaked with tears, and now vomit, and usually curly hair was a tangled mess. Wow. Attractivw. I blinked furiously, feeling something hard in my eye. I opened my hand and my dried up contact fell into it. I quickly took the other one out and threw them both in the garbage. 

I stared at myself in the mirror until I needed to be sick again. I was a horrible person. How could I do this to Niall? But then, its not like I cheated on him… well kind of… No… You’re an ass either way. The little voice in the back of my head said. True. 

The argument with myself was rudely interrupted by a sudden wave of puke. Wiping my mouth, I curled up in a ball, defeated and fell back to sleep. 

-x- 

Aw fuck.

I sat up, leaning over the toilet for what had to be the eight hundredth time that night. I felt a hand rubbing my back, relaxing me a bit. The hand moved to my forehead, pushing my sweaty hair off my forehead, cooling me down. After about ten minutes my stomach finally felt empty, thank god, but the hand was still moving up and down my back. A voice was whispering things I couldn’t quite make out, but they sounded reassuring.

I pushed back against the person, who seemed to hesitate before pulling me to them. I turned towards them, burying my head in their neck. Another arm wrapped around me, holding me tight against their chest, which was warm and made my skin tingle and my heart beat just a little bit faster. I closed my eyes and sighed, letting myself relax. I pressed my lips lightly to their neck.

“Night” I whispered to the dark bathroom.

Just as I was falling a sleep, I felt a pair of lips on my hair and a far away voice whispered back.

“Good night barista boy.”


End file.
